There is a common misconception in today’s world that we should avoid pain at all costs. This is largely a societal teaching – to play life safe and avoid any unnecessary risk or pain. It’s a misconception because pain is the gateway to growth – there are no two ways about it. So, what happens if we embrace pain?
Pain = growth?
How is pain the gateway to growth? Let us look at it physically first. Say you are looking to increase your muscle mass to obtain a desired physique. How do your muscles grow? They grow by breaking down and re-forming bigger and better, achieved by strenuous training that must consistently increase in difficulty so your body does not have time to adapt and become comfortable. They grow by pain. The physical pain you put yourself through during your workouts ultimately leads to increased muscle mass.
Now let us look at it emotionally. There is something that you would like to tell someone that you wish you had the courage to say but something is holding you back. Maybe it’s the fear of being rejected – a big fear among many. Maybe you were rejected love by a parent from a young age and now one of your many limiting beliefs are that you are not worthy of love. The reason could be anything but ultimately it comes down to you wanting to avoid pain. That is undoubtedly the primary reason you, we, I, avoid doing certain things. We all wish to avoid pain.
Claim your power
By confronting our demons and fears that have scarred us emotionally and by saying what we wish to say or doing what we wish to do – despite our fear of the pain we may receive – we grow exponentially. Confronting that abusive partner and saying enough is enough is how you claim your power back. Or by having that difficult conversation with your ex-lover, you kick-start the process for healing. By mourning the death of one of your relatives you bring closure.
All of these things will bring you short-term pain – they are difficult and challenge you emotionally. However they undoubtedly help you achieve long-term healing. By addressing the issue immediately – as difficult as it might be – you are starting the process of emotional growth. Therefore you will be better equipped to deal with it the next time you are in that situation. And you will be in that situation again because life challenges us every day and hardship is always around the corner. It’s our job to be ready to meet it head on and overcome it.
Do the hard things
Now I am not saying that you should seek out all kinds of physical and emotional pain. Of course not. But if there is something that needs to be said or done, you must do it. You owe it to yourself. Just like your muscles grow through physical pain, your mind and spirit grows through emotional pain. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, if you learn from the lesson.
Unfortunately we have been educated to avoid pain, instead of being educated to deal with it and use it as a springboard for growth. Therefore it is not strange that when we face situations that cause us pain, we turn around and run and ultimately prevent any emotional healing from happening.
The one person you cannot have a bad relationship with is yourself because everything starts with you and ends with you too.
In your pain lies a huge opportunity for growth. Embrace it.
Thank you very much.
Tony.
