When we look back at the best times in our lives – more often than not – they involve other people. People who have shared that time and moment with us. People, who in fact, are the main reason those moments are memorable to us at all.
Connection
Our relationships are the most important things in our lives and determine whether we look at our lives as a success or failure. The quality of our lives are parallel to the quality of our relationships. Including the relationship with ourselves.
If I ask you to tell me something great you remember from last year I am pretty sure you will not describe a material thing that you purchased. In fact I am pretty sure you will either talk about an experience you had by yourself or with another person. As small as a catch-up with a friend to something as big as a vacation with your partner. The point is we, as human beings, cherish and hold onto the human connections we have had with others. Especially those that mean a great deal to us. These are the things we remember fondly and look back on with great joy and fulfilment. Therefore it’s obvious that in order to improve the quality of our lives and our overall happiness and well-being, we must improve the quality of our relationships.
Less ego
We all have, or have had, fractured relationships. Usually with friends or family members (or worst, with ourselves). Think about how you felt when the relationship first became strained or was at its worst? Not good right? Terrible? It’s likely. Now hopefully at least one of your previous fractured relationships is now no longer fractured. If so, think about how it feels now. Very good right? Amazing? It’s also likely. Maybe you look back and think “wow, I can’t believe we let our egos get in the way for that long”. I know I do. Our relationships in our lives impact the way we feel to a massive degree, I’d say more than anything else.
This is why it’s imperative that we focus on sustaining and improving our current good relationships, and repairing our current fractured relationships. We all feel like we’re the ones who deserve justice, that we’re the ones who have been wronged. Why can’t the other person change their ways and reconcile with us? The truth is that it’s every bit as much us as it is them. It takes two to tango. The hardest thing is to dissolve your ego and look beyond it. The other person is hurting every bit as much as you are. Do not let your ego grow to an uncontrollable size that you can no longer tame. Apologise for what you have done/said. Ask for an apology from them too. Either way understand that in order to grow to the next level you have to be willing to repair the fractured relationships in your lives.
Solve the matter ..
Now you may think that some relationships in your lives perhaps do not warrant repairing from fracturing. Maybe these relationships aren’t a priority or are no longer relationships you have now. That’s fine. But equally understand that something left unsaid is something that you will hold onto forever until it is said. Let it out. Close the case. Speak your truth. Just be open to hearing it back.
Most of the relationships we have in our lives matter. So we ought to make them matter. By solving the matter.
It should be noted that although I have wrote about relationships with others, the relationship we have with ourselves is just as important if not more important. Focus on building an excellent relationship with yourself first through doing what you love and putting yourself in challenging situations where you can test and push your limits and ultimately evolve into something more. After that you can focus on healing the fractured relationships and improving the already good relationships you have. You will see the fulfilment and how more complete you feel in your life.
Don’t wait until it’s too late. Do it now.
Thank you for reading.
Tony.
