Ego and pride: arguably the greatest downfall and success to a person. How many friendships have you seen break because of ego? What about families that have been divided due to pride and ego? When a person continuously feeds their ego, without keeping it in check, it creates a monster – I’ve seen it first hand numerous times. I’m sure you have too.
Firstly I’d like to break down what ego actually is. Ego separates us from others. Ego is the I or self of a person, ultimately distinguishing one person from another. We all have an ego and it’s crucial to all of the good things in our lives. Such as: striving to become better in something, allowing us to connect with ourselves, trusting our intuition, chasing our dreams. However, when left unchecked our ego can become our greatest detriment.
The more I learn, the less I know
I, personally, am somebody who is an avid learner. I love learning. It’s stimulating and highly rewarding. It allows me to live my life with more tools at my disposal to succeed, as life goes on. However the more I learn, the more I realise that the less I know. Do you know why? The reason why is because the more we learn, the more we realise that there is more to learn! As our brains develop through learning, our minds open up and we seek more knowledge to fulfil that gap.
The more I learn, the less I know. I’ve found this belief works well against the ego because it makes you very humble, even if you are much more self-aware and conscious than most of the people you meet. Unfortunately for a lot of people, the more they know (or think they know), the more their ego grows. Then whenever their ego is threatened, such as: by being embarrassed by somebody, or getting something wrong, or having somebody question them, they lose control and lash out.
How many times have you seen that? Where somebody cannot accept being wrong and will do their all to prove another person wrong and diminish their point/argument. Perhaps this person is right. Perhaps not. It matters not. The reason being is that they are being controlled by their ego, which is telling them that they are under attack. And how does the ego respond when attacked? It fires right back.
This is the problem. Most people don’t get past their ego, and are constantly in a battle with it for the entirety of their lives. You see, after we realise that we are made of much more than our ego’s and pride, we learn how to control these urges to be heard, to be right, and to have other people’s approval. The sooner we realise that the voices in our heads are not all for our benefit, the better!
So how can we live a life not dominated by our ego’s and pride, but dominated by mental clarity and peace?
Leave your ego at the door
The first thing to do is spend quality time with yourself. This is absolutely crucial as it will help you to understand and know who you really are, what you really like to do, and who you really want to become. You see, once somebody is truly comfortable with who they are, and where they’re going in life, they rarely feel threatened. This type of person doesn’t seek approval from others, they have their own approval. You’ll see this in their behaviour and body language as they don’t let success get to their head and failure to their heart. They don’t necessarily mind if somebody does not like them, and they are comfortable in silence, where most people struggle.
Another thing to do is to find your purpose in life. When you know your mission in life and what you are here for, you have a sense of clarity that is unlike you’ve ever had before. This makes your ego quiet because you no longer feel threatened. With clarity and purpose, you know exactly what you have to do, and when you have to do it. Therefore other people’s opinions really don’t matter as they’re not part of that purpose!
As always and especially the case with ego, the more we work on developing ourselves and controlling our emotions, not having our emotions control us, the less our ego impacts our lives in a negative way. Most people don’t actually know who they are, and this is what the ego feeds on because it gives it the power to tell you who you are! Know yourself, and your ego will know its place.
Thanks for reading.
Tony.
